The Girl I Was

I was that shy girl who had low self-worth. I was the girl who envied those who had parents who took interest in their children.  I was the girl who believed she had no chance of being loved.  I was the girl who compared herself to the popular girls at school, to the magazine models, and to those who came from loving families.  I was the girl who felt like an outsider.  I was the girl who felt like an imposter.  I was the girl who was quiet, kind, envious, shy and depressed without knowing why.   I was the lonesome girl hoping to be included.  I was the girl looking for love in all the wrong places.  I grew up to be a  scorned woman at the well. As a  rejected runt, I was certain nobody would want me.  I wore a mask.  I hid how I really felt and had no voice. I was the girl who felt miserably inadequate. When I sought Truth with all my heart, Jesus stepped into my being as the Holy Spirit. He uprooted my false fears like weeds and planted faith in the garden of my soul!  I had so longed to be loved, and Love Himself took up residence in me.  I was exposed to the glory, grace and Power of God.  I was the girl who had felt unlovable, and when Love entered, He changed me. The seed of Truth needed constant care and watering! Once upon a time the Liar convinced that girl to refuse any kind of genuine encouragement.  That girl’s soul was barren of compassion, mercy and Truth and her heart cracked! LL_Default_Social_ImagePersistent as Truth is, He grounded me with a solid Word.  God’s personal love letter to me, the Bible began to uproot the lies and I adopted my true, unshakable identify “in Him”.  My Father’s continuous love filled my heart with hope “in Him”. Not by chance, but by His design, the Living Water flooded my being until all the dirty lies washed overboard!  My thirst was great and the Truth bathed my parched soul.  An amazing comprehension of the breadth, length, height and depth of God’s love grew within me. I began to experience supernatural transformation as I embraced a portion of God’s immense capacity to love a broken kid of the King like me.  I understood that I was not only That girl, but that I was His girl!  “Hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts, by the Holy Spirit, who He has given us.” Romans 5:5 —  AWE struck, I came to KNOW that “He who is in me, is greater than he who is in the world” I was that girl,  dead in sin and hiding my shame behind a mask. But then there is the mercy and grace of God. I cried out to Him and He poured His love into me.  My Father lifted me up and gave me the Truth, a new identity “in Him”. His Holy Spirit gently took off my mask and showed me what God saw in me. WOW, the truth is that the Creator of all things, the King of kings adopted me as His! My Father forgave me for my resistance, my stubbornness, and all that I had done that was not pleasing to a holy God. He removed my sin as far as the East is from the West.  How wide is that love?  North will eventually meet the South, but the East and West will never meet –

therefore the width of His love is endless. The length of His love is to the uttermost, unto eternity, which has no end.  I am His chosen girl, the one He persistently chased, the one who surrendered so that I may KNOW the love of Christ.  I pray in the powerful name of our Lord Jesus, that all readers ponder the Truth as the Holy Spirit works in each heart to increase the understanding of God’s love. That they lay hold of the Truth and seek Thee more.  AMEN  “He was in the world, and though the world was made through Him, the world did not recognize Him…but to all who did receive Him, to those who believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God.” Without reservation I choose to broadcast this Truth, that the Lord may feed a broad and hungry audience.  His word says “that you being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and depth to know the love of Christ.” Eph 3:17-19. What is true about a person does NOT change the Truth. True or Truth?


Pretty on the outside, but without Jesus, empty on the inside even if married.

The pretty dressing on the outside needs to match up with the completeness of Christ on the inside. As we become completed “in Him” we rely on Him alone. BEFORE marriage, we must surrender to God and allow the Holy Spirit to teach, counsel and guide us. Our maturity becomes evident as we depend on His direction and voice more and more. WAITING ON GOD is hard when we are young: At age 16,17,18,19,20 we are often self-deceived that we are READY —- Marriage equates to a union of both man and wife….placing Christ first, mate second, kids third. Marriage was never intended to complete a person. It was designed by God for a man and a woman to enter into a covenant relationship with Christ at the center. That three person relationship forms something supernatural. Three are better than one or two. God designed marriage NOT to make any member a whole person, but to give the UNITY of THREE a whole new range of experience together. Marriage is NOT a hope that God will bless it. Do NOT marry because you FEEL lonely, or because HE/SHE makes you feel needed. Do NOT marry BECAUSE YOU FEEL lost without them. That actually erodes the possibility for a healthy oneness with Christ at the center. Do NOT marry for a “meal ticket,” or because you need someone to take care of you. Maturity takes time, wholeness requires tests of courage and character to trust God in the waiting. Disaster is when people create dependency on each other. 83839451_2510460392391869_4682887702792634368_nDo not marry to get daddied or mothered. We have a heavenly Father who helps us grow “in Him” and He prepares us for the mate that will be equally yoked. Be eternally stoked to “walk in Christ” with your mate for God’s glory. The crucial question to ask before considering marriage is “Am I completed by Christ yet?” if the answer is YES for both people, then when they UNITE in MARRIAGE with Christ in a covenant relationship, the blessing and anointing of God will be on that couple. A MEXICAN WEDDING  Both people must be complete in Christ and a mature adult – before marriage. TESTIMONY OF A YOUNG WOMAN who chose to NOT wait on God; Living as a divorced single mother, when my son was three years old a neighbor asked me to attend his church. A Holy Spirit filled pastor from Texas was pacing and preaching.  He pointed at me, I stood up and got the Holy Ghost on me. I got baptized and handed a BIBLE on June 19, 1985.  I remained a single women for 38 years until I got married for the second time in 2012. LIFE was HARD as a single woman, and LIFE has been HARD as a married woman. In 2016 my mother and son both died within 85008421_1094248707580344_4146021927573520384_na month. During my adult life, because of my rebellious spirit, and stupid choices, I experienced the dark side of life on earth. I had been kidnapped, raped, beaten, rejected and fired from a job.  I was homeless in Texas, and through it all GOD was constantly there, wooing me back with underserved breaks of mercy and grace.  That same girl barely completed high school because of a pregnancy.  This girls earthly dad had given up on her, but her heavenly Father had his plan in place before she was even born!  “Oh God, where can I go from Your Spirit?  Where can I flee from Your presence? If I go up to the heavens, You are there;  when I make my bed. You are there. For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your eyes saw my unformed body;  all the days ordained for me were written in Your book  before one of them came to be.” Psalms 139 (CJB)  We find the TRUTH only in God’s Word.  The Holy Bible is our heavenly Father’s love letter to us! God sent His only Son, Jesus to die on a cross, to cover our sins, so that we could eternally with the Perfect Papa. His Ways are marvelous!

God redeems us in a supernatural way.  He installed His Way for us to be purchased out of slavery to sin.  If you are in the pit, He will rescue all those who invite Him. Our Father will not push Himself onto anybody, we must ask Him to adopt us as His Kingdom kid. We must be HONEST with God and just tell Him what He already knows, what He has already witnessed us doing. Living a lie and pridefully covering up our sin will only lead to a life of pain and sorrow…..ETERNALLY! Unmasked

15 thoughts on “The Girl I Was

  1. Classic Billy Graham ““For as [man] thinketh in his heart, so is he.”

    The word heart is used in different ways all the way through the Scriptures. I want you to see tonight the meaning of the word heart from the Biblical point of view.

    The Bible says that “Man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). When God looks at a man, He doesn’t look to see the color of his skin. He doesn’t look to see the kind of clothes he wears. Nor does He consider his social position. The Bible says that God looks upon the heart to see what you are on the inside—the thoughts, motives and intents of the heart.

    The question I want to ask every one of you tonight is this: Is your heart right with God? And if it’s not right, before you leave here tonight I hope you’ll allow God to make it right.

    The Bible indicates a great deal about the condition of the average person’s heart. In Proverbs 6:18, the Bible speaks of a “heart that deviseth wicked imaginations.” In other words, the Bible says that your heart is full of evil imaginations. And the Bible says, in Jeremiah 17:9, that “the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” Your heart is deceitful. You can’t trust it, if you’re outside of Jesus Christ.”


  2. Pingback: Unmasked | Living Abroad

  3. Pingback: A Narrow Gate | Living Abroad

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s