My heart is weary in the middle of the night. My restless soul awoke to a vivid dream, and without hesitation, I responded in my flesh, not by His Spirit.

Angered, with “why this?”  I know my God sees me as His Spirit never departs from me.  Fully awake; I seek He who knows, and listens to my weak, silent, quaking heart. My God holds me by His strong right hand, but I cannot rest until I hear from Him. In the midst of a troubling dream, I squirm and toss in speechless pain.

Psalm 77:4 “You hold my eyelids open; I am so troubled that I cannot speak. You don’t let me sleep. I am too distressed even to pray!” Where does my help come from? Isaiah 55:8 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And My ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so My ways are higher than your ways, and My thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Lord, think for me.

I moan at the thought of God seeing me and knowing my battle. My body, mind and spirit collapse in another sleepless night of seeking “Why, Lord?” A Scripture is called to mind. “Be still, and know that I am God.” ❤️ I discovered after struggling to pray for hours, that it only took 3 minutes of praise — to shift the weight of oppression from my shoulders to His.  A joyful release and rejoicing relief! Psalm 139 is my praise song

I choose to remember better times of praising God without a burden. I have searched my heart with honesty and diligence. I have confessed my sin, and I lay the matter on His alter and rest in His abounding love. 

His mercy and grace never fails.  With authority, I commanded my mind to submit to the Spirit.  He knows the very heart of my dark temptation of self-pity.  How does my will so easily override all the truth that is within me? I wrestle with unseen powers, but I am His overcomer by His blood and my rejoicing testimony.

Living life not submitted, but in rebellion, keeps me tossing and turning. To resist the right thing, is to think I can escape. My secret thoughts are never hidden from He who dwells within each crinkle of my brain.  Lord, forgive me, for my lazy faith.  Lead me into Thy secure, everlasting love.  Protect me from the evil schemes of my enemy.   As You have forgiven me, I forgive myself. Oh Lord, thank You for the cleansing flood! May Thy will be done in me as I look forward to eternity in my purified, glorified body. “You are forgiven”, so my Lord said, so let it be done. Remember to me the promise of life without condemnation. 

Psalm 139 “I praise God because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; His works are wonderful, I know that full well. His eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in His book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are His thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! If only You, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty! Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Yes, Lord!

Psalm 139 “If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb.” For such a glorious time as this, I rest in You.

Who do we call? Who do we cry out to? There is no hope on planet Earth. This world shall pass away, and it is. The good news is that as the government seems to hate us, God loves us. SIGNS are here, NOW — SEE , Cry, Confess, Repent. Where have we placed our trust? If a person does not fear the sin that so easily ensares, then that person does not fear God. The justice we long for is with Jesus. That little bit of yeast, destroys all good deeds. The NOT GUILTY verdict is for Jesus to decide.  The Prince of Peace is waiting for His people to “Be still, and know that God is on the throne.” Our Father, who art in heaven, Holy is Your Way.