PART ONE OF HONORING YOUR MOM: Let us begin with with your mom asking for your forgiveness. The following is a list, you might ask yourself what else? Imagine your mother standing before you asking: “Forgive me for not comforting you, holding you, and for being distant. You were not a mistake, it was God’s will that you were born of me. Forgive me for not giving you the security you needed. I was harsh and angry and critical. I yelled  and said things to hurt and devalue you. I did not tell you that I loved you, will you forgive me? Forgive me for not taking the time to meet your emotional needs and for abandoning you so that I could pursue my passions. Forgive me for not allowing you to be a child. I spoke to you about things that were not appropriate for your age. I am sorry for not recognizing that you were not mature enough to deal with my fears. Will you forgive me for stealing your childhood? I am sorry for not letting you express yourself in your unique and innocent ways. Forgive me for expecting that you take on my responsibilities. Will you forgive me? Please forgive me for abusing you physically, for undeserved inappropriate beatings and for all my foul language. Forgive me for all the ways that I kept myself too busy, unavailable, and  unapproachable. I bullied you and I am sorry. Forgive me for not listening to you, for not believing in you or encouraging you. Forgive me for controlling your every action in order that you do things my way. Forgive me for not modeling what a Godly wife, or mother should be, for not teaching you how to relate to men and women. I ask for your forgiveness for all the ways I fell short, and for not being there when you needed me. If I have hurt you in any other way, I am listening, and I am sorry.

PART TWO of HEALING between mother and child: Dear heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus, I command all the spirits of fear, rejection and abandonment that have been assigned to me because of my unforgiveness towards my mother, to go NOW! PART THREE: Imagine your mother saying to you: I bless you my precious child, you are so loved, and uniquely created by God.  I am so proud of you while I write this to honor you. I speak life to every cell in your body. You are the child that God delights in, and I have the privilege to call you my child and to watch you mature. I bless you with God’s richest blessings for your life. May you be filled with new wine and prosper as your soul prospers. I bless your heart that it may be filled with the desire to serve God and receive His unmatched grace so that you may please God in all that you are and in all that you do. I bless you to grow and be open to receive all the plans that God Almighty has for you. I bless your emotions, your relationship with God, your spouse, friends, and all your co-workers.  I bless your household and your example to all who you come in contact with. I bless your heart to know and love God above all else, that you know Him intimately, that your strength comes from Him, that you seek His wisdom concerning all things. I bless your health and that you embrace the truth that you were wonderfully and fearfully made in the image of God. As your mother, God chose me to bring you into this world, and I speak life into every cell of your body. Before you were born, God loved you, and I love you. I honor you, and I praise God for you. I bless you now and forever. I bless you with the blessing of Ephraim and Manasseh, that you will forget the pain of your past and that your future will be fruitful as you live the rest of your days without bitterness, but with great joy. AMEN — healed and Whole, consider writing your mother’s story in such a way that brings her honor and glory.

Momma was a globe trotting artist, an activist, a writer, a seeker of truth, a legal German immigrant who survived war.  I marvel at mom’s determined spirit and I thank God that He chose her to be my mother. Love never departs, Love never dies, Love prevails.

There was a general sour feeling about German people, and my mom was met as a trespasser on American soil.  My mother was hungry for acceptance and love and she did her best to live as a conventional, acceptable wife and mother. She was not a cook, nor did she play bridge or indulge in any hobbies until after she was 60 years old.  She did not tolerate whining or complaining, for her it was about working and getting the task at hand completed.  As a child we were never given a chance to be bored as she assigned all of her tribe responsibilities.  Our chores and our homework had to be finished before we could go outside to play.  I learned that my Mother was not allowed to cry as a child, and that she was hidden behind the counter of the family coffee shop. She had silky blue eyes that perceived the world as she would have it.  Her hair was thin and her mind was sharp.  Mom was a voracious reader and never without an opinion about anything.  She loved a good mystery and her thirsty mind soaked up books on a vast array of subjects. She loved the Vienna waltz and composers that never produced a shrill sound. Being the youngest of three children I believe that I grew to know her more deeply than my siblings. We were neighbors in the Napa Valley and our visits were frequent. Mom moved back to Germany in 1975 and in 1979 I traveled to meet her new groom James Crane. After many hours of persuasion, Mom relented and took me to visit Shuen Ecken. Enjoying coffee and cake with Lily (a neighbor who took care of grandma Barbara Herzig) they joyfully reminisced in German,  and I inspected the grounds outside to find a memento.  I pulled a rusted lock from the decrepit, abandoned, out-of-service wooden outhouse. Mom was a painter of all things odd, and a collector of post-cards. My sister and I spread Mom’s ashes near Bell Rock in Arizona.  We said our FINAL good-byes in February 2016.

My mother was a woman who spoke several languages, but she never learned her heavenly language, therefore, she was unable to connect with the God of the Bible. Born as an only child, in a small Heidi like village called Shuen Ecken, in the Eiffel mountains of Germany, my mother Maria Herzig Crane inherited the strength and spirit to survive a brutal war.  Momma Mia was strong willed and unyielding in her determination to live according to her beliefs. She was an unwanted child who did not receive affection from her estranged mother or her rigid aunts. God revealed insights into her difficult upbringing and He gave me the necessary grace and compassion to love on my mother. It was difficult for her to say words of love or show any compassion.     Her real beauty shined as she remained true to herself.  She never followed the latest fashion for she was a trend setter in that regard.  She had a confident presence that persuaded many to rise above any labels ascribed.  My dad was from Little Rock, Arkansas and he proudly brought his German bride home from the war to his family.  Coming from a small German farming community, it was difficult for Mom to adjust to her new life in California.  She adapted to her new country, the foreign tongue and her in-laws.  Mom was never completely accepted by my dad’s family. Words can’t capture how deeply I love, admire, and appreciate Momma Mia. Her resilience, her vitality, and her unwavering values shine through every memory I now find time to cherish. She still knew how to have fun and was NOT afraid to set you straight with a laugh or possibly a stronger correction She’s faced love and loss with incredible strength. Married to Earl, and three more times, all died before she took her final breath. To this day Momma Mia amazes me and I ask myself how well would I have handled living in America as a hated German? I pray I never have to know.

Our heavenly Father instructs “Honor your parents.”

I love you Momma RIP March 2016

Family Reflections

http://www.tributes.com/obituary/photos/Maria-Crane-103350339

via Daily Prompt: Final