Today teens are raised within a society of ‘selfie’ posting adults. Is it any wonder why the mental disorder of Narcissism is on the rise? A full blown Narcissist thinks they are more physically attractive and intelligent than just about everyone, and would rather be admired than liked. They have very few close friends. They could care less if their opinion, action or personality is liked because they do what they do, and say what they say to be ‘admired, adored, or quoted’. They do not compare themselves to lesser beings and they rarely praise another. When they are told that they come up short, they consider the truth teller to be a fool for not acknowledging their brilliance. The toxic levels of their sense of entitlement to be esteemed — is nauseating to members of the immediate family. They do not consider ‘why’ they might be avoided at social gatherings because they are to self-absorbed to notice. They ask very few probing questions as they do not really care about others. They only listen so that they can respond with more about where they have been, what they have accomplished, or what they know. They soar in the spot light and pose for pictures.They thrive on dazzling others with their sanctimonious, priestly, perfect opinions. They rarely suffer the consequences of a selfish reputation because they are in denial. They cannot see or hear what others observe in their presence. Men are more narcissistic than women across the lifespan. Male and female narcissists both share a marked need for attention, the propensity to manipulate, and a keen interest in sex. A narcissists’ tactics for standing out are well-documented by how they appear in public, and to the public. The person living with a narcissist feels the loss of a sincere heart connection as they intimately know the level of their partner’s self-absorption. The narcissist’s lack of empathy, affinity, appreciation, warmth, pity, or comprehension of your plight is key to understanding why, when you’re with one, there’s a real sense in which they are not “with” you at all. Without empathy, a person remains more or less encased in hard plastic, unmoved by the feelings or plight of others—even supposedly close others—on both a connective and emotional level. Their honest indifference to the reality of your loss, your feelings is the wedge that tragically ruins relationships. For them to say “I’m so sorry for your loss” is said without tears, and after offering their cool, unsympathetic sentence, you know they do NOT ‘feel’ what you ‘feel’.Any empathy is absent. They behave correctly, and give the standard response to tragedy. Incapable of empathy, they remain void of the ability to feel anything other than a selfish, secretly held thought — ‘glad it was you and not me’. Can a Christian be a Narcissist? Absolutely! “Confess your sins to one another so that you can be healed” A Narcissist at church will offer to pray for you, but they do not ask for prayer because they are not in need of it. They are self-sufficient, which kind of leaves out the need for grace, mercy or the forgiveness of Jesus. If you ask them “How has having Jesus ‘in you’ changed you?” You will hear them say “I…..” as opposed to “He” made the changes.
DEFINITION of Narcissism: A noun – A person who is excessively interested in oneself, their reputation and physical appearance. Synonyms: Vanity, self-love, self-admiration, self-absorption, conceit, self-centeredness, self-obsession, egotism.
- PSYCHOLOGY OF Narcissism
Extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one’s own accomplishments and a craving for admiration. Denial of any error characterizes this personality type.
- PSYCHOANALYSIS OF Narcissism
The self-centeredness of a youth who only receives praise — increases their propensity to become self-gratified, without a need for others. Narcissism is a mental disorder that has no remedy in psychiatry. It is an egotistic admiration of one’s own accomplishments and/or attributes. It is a major stumbling block to the building of sincere, caring relationships with others. A Narcissistic person is grandiose in their assessment of what they can do, or have done for others. They feel that they are entitled to be respected, they arrogantly boast, and they are hungry for admiration. Narcissistic people are in stiff denial that they are manipulative, easily angered, and not easily emotionally hurt because it is never their doing. When they do not receive the accolades they consider their birthright, they are quick remind you of the defects of others. Giving praise to others is only done socially, not personally, because they gain more character points for their public pronouncement of praise. “Isn’t he/she the greatest!”
QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF ABOUT THE SELFISH PERSON IN YOUR LIFE:
1) How much do they know or care about their dads, moms, siblings, friends passions or interests? Does the Narcissistic person call, write or inquire about the adventures, or about what their friends post on Facebook?
2) THINK honestly – is the heart motive or expectation for any act of kindness or generosity to obtain esteem from others? When giving service, do they pride fully recite their good works to gain cherished recognition?
3) Do they dominate conversations with the topic of “me”? When I was… Does their story telling include honest admiration of others….or mostly criticism?
4) Do they listen and really hear what you are saying? Do they respond favorably to corrective criticisms, discipline or your preferences?
5) After they meet up with friends do they point out the VALUES of the relationship, or the problems of the ‘friend’ they met up with?
6) Do they quickly admit when they are wrong?
7) When you relate a story, do they one-up you with theirs?
8) Do they seem to believe that they are ‘better’ than the people around them by how they criticize politicians, leaders, friends, family? Do they believe they are correct about the life, politicians, the Holy Bible…..most of the time?
Living with a narcissist symptoms
1) weight gain
3) feeling empty
Living with a narcissist causes a person to feel guilty, burdened, restless. They cover up nicely with a fake smile but it seems they are hiding something, perhaps feeling trapped. In extreme cases they may suddenly burst into a rage with an increasing desire to lash out in violence. Very little has been written in medical journals about those who live with a narcissist. Their life is not easy and they are tortured with a love/hate of their mate. Outwardly a person with Pathological Narcissism appears aloof and above present company. Rules do not apply to them as they turn the table and cast blame on their inner circle, or on the public in general. They refer to “those people” who do not acknowledge their supreme knowledge as idiots. Even Narcissist Christians believe that they are entitled to have the ear and grace of God for after all, they are students of His word, and they are above reproach. They have an overblown sense of self and often without the credentials to match. The topic of their important contributions is repeated and they are unaware of the listeners bored facial expression. They have little empathy or compassion for anyone, but they can act as if they care with a performance most believable. Their acts of kindness come at a price and what they do for others becomes public knowledge so that they can reap the reward of respect from their peers. Only the person living with a narcissist experiences the full throttle of their self-centeredness. According to the DSM-IV, 50-75% of Narcissists are men. In the early stages of the relationship, the Narcissistic person can be most charming. In the budding romance of dating the Narc is quick to please, bringing flowers, while sensing that the recipient would be a doting, appreciative, forever grateful partner. The victim sees the Narc as the perfect partner. Marriage proposals often come quickly to those who pay compliments to the Narc. Then comes the verbal abuse, and the attempt to control the body of their beloved. The emotional abuse of accusing the victim “what is wrong with you?” is the Narc’s weapon of choice. The stealth Narc is acutely sinister in his approach to dominate and drive his partner crazy with tiny, harmless digs. “My ex-wife/girlfriend loved wearing such and such for me, why can’t you try and please me?” or “If only you would try a little harder, we’d both be happy.” The victim is excessively held to the highest standard. The stealth Narc uses the silent treatment without a thought of its effect on his inner circle. The Narc is never bothered by the silent treatment, they never consider that they have done anything wrong. To those outside his house he looks, talks and acts like a saint. He is probably the president of the Rotary, he volunteers at church and donates publicly to charity — all for one purpose — to attain the image of being “admired” in his community, or church. The Narc himself rarely changes. After all, if you earnestly believe you are beloved of God, then you must be perfect. Why should they change their behavior for anyone? Yet, the Narc is desperate to be liked as he sees others being liked. Victims are not only the mates, but co-workers, friends and the children.
To have a Narc personality disorder diagnosed, someone needs to demonstrate three or four of the characteristics. The following is a checklist for narcissistic personality disorder. Does the person:
- Believe there are special reasons making them different. It is hard to make decisions?
- Do they rely on others to recognize their value? Do they speak about their accomplishments to bolster self-image?
- Do they withhold compliments? Is it hard for them to give praise?
- Resent the successes of others?
- Put their own needs above those of others.
- Take advantage of others?
Narcissists can be very difficult to be around. They are unshakable in their belief that they don’t have a problem. They have a strong sense of superiority and seem arrogant.
The flip side is they need constant admiration to feel fulfilled so they disperse their knowledge, wanted or not. Unapproachable at best, they often have very fragile egos.
To feel better about themselves they will often belittle or criticize the government, co-workers, and their friends. If challenged on this, they may be dismissive and laugh it off. In the extreme, they can be controlling, blaming and self-absorbed. It’s not just cockiness: they typically believe they are more important, more worthy and their way of doing things is best. more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4683390/Do-live-work-narcissist.html#ixzz4pljGAlAK