Have you ever noticed the sparkle in a person’s countenance as they are being verbally touched by an expressed appreciation? Why are we hesitant to give such delight to our loved ones? The value of speaking love is incalculable, but it is our tone that often blesses or offends more than our words. A new innocent bride or an old church full of God’s chosen people … both can be easily hurt by one harsh answer. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1 With the earnest intention of blessing those we are entrusted to love, it is God’s will that we pour out His love, the Truth with compassion. “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” Eph 4:15 “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” 1 Corin 13 – We are called to love one another, with the divine love that was freely given to us. Human love and divine love are not the same. “For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds success in store for the upright, He is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for He guards the course of the just and protects the way of His faithful ones. Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.” Proverbs 2:6
We can expect God to answer our prayers with “Yes” or “No” or “Silence”. “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” – John 14:26 God, or the promised and delivered Holy Spirit cannot speak to you through the Bible unless you read it. It is a dangerous habit to lean on your own understanding. The Holy-God breathed Word of the Lord tells us that we are to discern man given prophecy but we are never to judge scripture. 2 Timothy 3:16 “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness…” The modern church rarely suggests any sacrifice or change as it fears being labeled legalistic. Some pastors preach that “once saved always saved” without the necessary obedience to all scripture. A deluded pulpit reminds the body “it is not necessary to be perfect as only Jesus is perfect.” While steadily welcoming the biblically illiterate, they fail to lead them in the whole Truth. The head of the Church, Jesus Christ commands us ALL to rid ourselves of self deception and to “crave” PURE spiritual milk. “Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.” 1 Peter 2:1 – When church leadership only soothes it’s thirsty souls with God’s unconditional approval, they are leading God’s people to a counterfeit image of Jesus. Woe to any church leader who only teaches half truths. True worshippers are the “bride” of Christ …. we are His chosen, imperfect people. We are considered by God to be the body of His church. “After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of His body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.” Eph 5:21 Spiritually speaking the Man Jesus left His Father to be united with His bride, His wife, the church, and the two became one flesh, for all people. “Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.” James 3:1 — Who is Perfect? Only Jesus Christ our Lord and He is able to keep His whole body, His church in check…..as we submit to His word, His will, His leading.“Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them.” Ephesians 5:1
The bride adores her beloved husband and she longs to hear his voice speak kindly towards her. She was wooed by a softly spoken Word, and she felt authenticated by what words were spoken, what promises were made to her. Enlightened by God’s holy word, she expects to hear from her beloved that she is His and that He is hers, forever and ever. “My beloved speaks and says to me: “Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away, for behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone. The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.” S.O.S. 2:8 ESV.
God spoke words and the entire universe was created. My Lord captured my heart and told me of His promises that His love endureth forever and that He would never forsake me. My Lord encourages me to lounge with Him in the written scriptures that I may be assured of His unfailing love, kindness and daily mercies. “Behold, you are beautiful, my love, behold, you are beautiful!” SOS 4:1 Reading in the book of Solomon “Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely.” SOS 4:3 “You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes…” SOS 4:9 We captivated the heart of Jesus, we the church are His bride….As we are His, and He is our Lord, all human beings learn about the character of God by the reading of His words to us. The topic of using our God given lips and speech is very important as it applies to our marriage, our devotion, our faithfulness to Jesus Christ and to our lifelong commitment to honor all our relationships. Applying the Holy Bible’s wisdom in our marriage to Jesus, to His church, to our spouse, to our family requires that we continue to speak words of assurance as we respect God’s will with our willing, happy obedience. There is an oral technique that does cause your vow to love, honor and cherish Jesus as Lord and your spouse as a gift from God — that HUMBLE technique is to forgive as we have been forgiven. In doing so, we renew that lovely passion we all experienced in the beginning of our most cherished relationships. “I know your deeds,your hard work and your perseverance. I know that you cannot tolerate wicked people, that you have tested those who claim to be apostles but are not, and have found them false.You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.” Revelation 2:2-5. Genuine words of forgiveness was the only technique that God used to speak His enduring love for us. “This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.’ Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.” Genesis 50:17. Great is His love for us, that from the beginning, we are to forgive those who have offended us. God used the lips of Jesus to speak into our hearts, and His tongue was also used to discipline us. “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matt 6:15 The bible is our trusted teaching manual on how we can use our lips and tongue to keep peace in His church and in our homes. God knows the content of our hearts, He knows our personal motives, and He knows how our hearts deceive us above all else. Men and women who are reading this may entertain opposing thoughts about how to best use “lip service” in their relationships for their own personal benefit. The truth is that our lips, mouth and tongue can affect our relational delights, however, sometimes forgiveness without honesty, can be seen for what it is and therefore be unwelcomed. Oral love and peace making, requires both man and woman to use their mouth, lips and tongue to speak kind, honest, sweet, loving words to those they seek to serve. Consider how effective your words were to seduce your interested person to pay attention to you. It is a biblically based fact that both men and women are greatly affected by words, spoken or unspoken. Consider the density, and the power of the spoken words “I believe in you” or “I love you”. Our speech towards our leaders, or our spouse can sting, hurt or woo. As we speak words to flatter a person, we can observe their response. Consider how it was when we dated candidates for marriage. We whispered verbally our sincere adoration, our promises, our expectations, our hopes, dreams etc. While in pursuit we wrote texts, emails, or hand-written cards…all of our most convincing words sent to communicate our love, our desire for another. Technology today allows us to get our words into the minds and hearts of others. With sweet words, Absalom stole the entire nation away from his father who held the throne. Rejection, hurt and pain are accomplished quickly and profoundly by words spoken or written. Love, joy, hope and peace is what most folks hope for in their marriage, however, a marriage can crumble quickly with cruel, critical, haughty and resisting speech. Men want to hear that they are our wise, capable, respected, and powerful champion. Men will not ask “please speak adoring words to me”. Women reverence their husbands by telling them ‘why’ and ‘how’ they maintain your worthy adoration. To do so pleases God and inspires our husbands to be more of what God created them to be…for Him. Men are achievers, they are hunters and gatherers who need to be recognized by words of genuine respect for their leadership and for all that they have “done”. Many men have been broken and neutered by the nagging, critical words of their parents or wives. Very cheaply, man can hire help to get his cooking and housekeeping done without the harsh tongue of a nagging wife. What we need to consider very deeply — is the words we speak to those we have committed to honor and cherish. God created men and women with different needs. We need to reverence, to worship the delicate soul of the one we have promised to forever woo. While engaged to, betrothed to, promised to…we delivered our best words ever! During our continuing romance with Jesus and our spouse, we need to remember to speak genuine words of gratitude. We all NEED verbal assurance. Women have their souls sliced by comparisons, criticisms, negativity and harsh words. Before the wedding only sweet words were spoken, but after the honeymoon, it is easy to allow grumbling to escape our lips. Men that expect harmony in the home must care about the needs of the woman. “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” 1 Corinthians 13:1 — Sarcastic, stinging, saucy, ungrateful, mean spirited words crush the spirit and they have no place in marriage or any relationship. Would you speak like that to Jesus? To your mother? The all knowing, attentive, kind, soft spoken words of Jesus filled the souls of His hearers with such joy that His love overflowed to bless the entire world. No matter what is the hottest selling book on Amazon, the Bible is the only book of authority for a healthy marriage. To love and reverence our spouses, like Jesus loves us, this requires lots and lots of words…a whole lengthy book of words. Words are the entire power behind every lasting romance. They express the love of God, a love that should be overflowing to light up the soul of our beloved. We are responders to words. Words have sparked wars, and they have also been used to heal as we believe in the power of prayer. Selfish people who brandish their words during the day with even minor criticisms should not expect a cuddle up in the evening. God is in charge of all events and He can change the hearts of the people who surrender
to Him. Even if you were born into a house of horrors, a house full of criticism, and nagging…you must surrender all hurts to God for His healing. None were born with the capacity to love like God loves. Some erroneously think that emotion is weakness and that romance is just a movie because you never witnessed your parents kissing and hugging and cooing over each other. We may have been born with a deformed sense of what love is, but by our loving Father’s ever present Holy Spirit, we have hope for a heart change. We should all feel safe in our asking for words of assurance. Simply open the book of Psalms, Ephesians, or Phillipians to be encouraged then boldly ask your spouse to lavish loving words unto your soul. Hallelujah! ““The Spirit of the Lord spoke through me; his word was on my tongue.” 2 Sam 23:2 –
“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?” James 3:9-11 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.” Proverbs 3:5